Finding yourself in motherhood is being open to who you are becoming.
Have you heard the phrase losing yourself in motherhood?
This happens as our responsibilities shift to focus on our child(ren). It’s common to feel like you’ve lost a sense of yourself in the process.
The question is, “how do I find my old self again”? The honest answer is: you’re becoming a new version of yourself. This is version 2.0. Motherhood is only one aspect of your identity, there is room to be a mom and maintain your individuality.
Start this journey by creating a support network. Other key elements include setting boundaries and rekindling or finding new passions. Remember to have self-care practices and maintain meaningful relationships. Taking care of yourself is as important as caring for your child(ren).
mom friends and community support
Feelings of isolation and loneliness in motherhood can happen.
This is why having a support network can provide a collection of resources. Having mom friends, and joining a support group or an online community is one way to connect in and outside of motherhood.
Identify safe spaces where you can open up to others who are going through similar experiences. This can provide a sense of relief in knowing that you are not alone in your experiences.
Maintaining and nourishing relationships in motherhood is as important as creating new connections.
Relationships with family, friends, and/or a therapist can provide connection and familiarity.
Identify the deep connections you have and continue to be present in them with the time you have. Reaching out and maintaining a relationship with family and friends can offer feelings of comfort and ease.
Remember, you’re not alone. Lean into your support network during times when you need a break and let others be there for you. Most importantly, ask for help when you need it.
In addition to nurturing your relationships, curate an index of shops and play centers that are accessible to you. Not only is it the chance to connect with other mothers and your local community, but your child(ren) has an outlet to socialize, learn and release energy. It’s a win-win.
moms have boundaries too
Don’t feel pressured to put your children’s needs before your own.
It’s okay to say no and set boundaries to make sure you get the time and space you need.
Setting boundaries applies to everyone in your life not only your children. Create boundaries by identifying your priorities, communicating your needs, and following through.
mommy has a new hobby
Think back to the things you used to enjoy before motherhood.
Did you love to dance, poetry, go for hikes, cooking?
Making time for the hobbies that you once loved
Having a new interest or hobby can be a new outlet and spark creativity and joy in your day.
New hobbies during motherhood can provide an opportunity for self-care, stress reduction, and personal growth, which can ultimately improve overall well-being and happiness. It can also serve as a way to model healthy habits and a balanced lifestyle for children. Remember you’re more than a mom and our child(ren) grow up.
self care practices for mom
Taking care of yourself is crucial in motherhood, so don’t neglect it.
Make sure to eat well, move your body often, and get enough sleep. Depending on your stage in life self-care can be specific to what you need at that moment. Self-care helps you take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. This, in turn, helps you to handle to demands and challenges of motherhood.
Listen to the Sister Sista Podcast episode Self care in motherhood for more
Final thoughts
You can be a great mom while being a multifaceted individual with unique goals and aspirations. Finding yourself in the vastness of motherhood will take some time and effort. Keeping in mind finding yourself in motherhood is recognizing your identity doesn’t solely revolve around your child(ren)or partner. Make time for yourself, go see friends and family, have a solo date, or take a fitness or art class. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this new chapter of your life.
